Late Night Musings
by Lizard Pie
Summary: Eliza thinks in bed about her coming marriage to a cursed man. FaustXEliza, obviously.


AN: I feel like I'm committing murder... putting doubt in the Faust/Eliza relationship. This isn't the best thing I've ever written, I dunno if the rhythm is off. Constructive criticism would be loved so changes can be made/ This was actually branched off of a humor fiction along the lines of my comic 'Oh Baby'.

There was a brown stain on the wall. A large, hideously ugly blemish shaped like a crude rendition of Australia disrupting an ocean of cheap, drippy robin's egg blue paint. It had been there they had moved in and who knew how long before. Often, it had become the topic of conversation- how to cover it up, what had made it and so forth. But in the end, it just stayed as ugly and as prevalent as it had been since it was first put on.

This is what Eliza stared at as the digital clock changed to 1:23, She should have been tired, After all, they'd been preparing for the wedding all day- reserving the church and looking at dresses and cakes and the like.

That weekend, they'd moved all of her things into Johann's apartment. Scratch that- their apartment. To prepare for married life, they'd made it their home, their bedroom, their bed.

He was spooning her as the clock changed to 1:35.

Changed to 1:43.

Changed to 2:03.

He was breathing heavily on her neck, she told herself, that was why she was up. She, unsuccessfully, tried to ignore the voice in the back of her head saying the real reason was her cold feet.

It wasn't Johann who worried her- it had never been Johann. Her sweet, soft-spoken lover who'd been hers since they had locked eyes that fateful day. And, likewise, she was his. No, the problem was not Johann in the slightest.

However, just as he'd always feared, his blood was coming back to haunt him. She fingered the black markings on his bicep- the constant reminder of a nearly five hundred year old curse.

The clock changed to 2:24.

At some point, he'd explained what he knew of the curse to her. All he would admit to for certain was that the markings appeared without so much as a smudge, probably from the womb. The rest- that every generation would have one male offspring, that the child would not meet it's grandfather, that every Faust ended up giving into their madness- he hoped were just coincidence. That was foolish reasoning, but it made them feel better.

Was she ready to enter such a line? To share vows, a home, a life with someone who would go insane and then die a premature death?

When the illness passed, motherhood became possible. She, like many little girls, had played with dolls all through childhood. She'd always wanted to be a mother. But, could she force this... this... _evil_ onto her child?

Neither of them were willing to do such a thing- they'd been trying so hard to resist the urges. They'd stopped going to the hospital cafeteria because they would need to pass the maternity ward. Even the slightest sexual urge would send Johann locking himself away and mentally and (occasionally) physically punishing himself for such a thought.

Her Johann who threw himself heart, body and soul into everything he did was now fighting the evil racing through his veins. No one attached to him could ever hope for a normal life- the one she had always envisioned for marriage.

And she was to be Mrs. Faust.

Johann shifted in his sleep. She jammed her eyes shut instinctively- he'd be torn if she couldn't and would then stay up for the rest of the night in guilt. He kissed the back of her head, once again oblivious to her deception, and wandered off. The bathroom, she figured. So until she heard his unsteady footsteps coming back down the hallway, she was safe to study the mark.

The clock changed to 2:37.

Maybe it was coffee, splashed against the wall and smeared while cleaning. Maybe it was blood or pudding or god forbid feces. She wondered why the owner of the building hadn't painted over it before putting the apartment up for sale.

The annoyingly loud pipes groaned to life, beginning to squeal as he turned on the sink. They shut off with a thud right before Johann came padding up the hall.

The clock changed to 2:45

Eliza jammed her eyes shut again as he collapsed back into the bed and fit himself back in place- arms snaking back around her waist and nuzzling his face into her neck.

If they were married, at some point it would happen. He wouldn't be able to stop himself and she wouldn't be able to stop herself and they would create a child damned since eight generations back. And what would they do then? Keep a child to go through a hellish life?

Johann hated his past, but he was very big on tradition- he would name his child just as he'd been named. So, they would send this child out to be tortured for something his namesake did out of extreeme arrogance and ignorance. She imagined every insult and injury Johann had sustained hitting her child until it fell into a sobbing and then unmoving ball on the floor.

The clock changed to 3:06.

The clock changed to 3:10.

She bit her lip as she once again began to trace the black markings on her fiance's bicep.

He was hers and she was his and they were spiraling down the path of his ancestors faster and faster. The marriage vows might mark a point of no return.

Would she...? Could she...?

If he couldn't see it because love had blinded him, was it up to her?

To crush his very being to save him?

A lone tear fell down her face as she stared at the stain. She wasn't strong enough to stop this disaster from happening. She wasn't strong enough to even try to stop it.

The clock changed to 3:18.

Changed to 3:24.

Changed to 3:33.

He was hers and she was his. If they went down, they went down together as they always had.

Eliza pulled his hands closer to her. And, with a small smile, she allowed herself to fall back to sleep.


End file.
